The day our family became complete {again}: Our Adoption Story

We have created three beautiful children on our own. After the birth of our two girls we struggled and endured much heartache multiple times before we let go and let God. Not long after our caboose came along, our one and only boy {or so we thought}. It was a hard pregnancy, belly shots every night grew old and painful, but the return would be worth it.

He came. Life is grand I thought. I am content. We are complete. Greg was very content, and the thought of another child really wasn’t on his mind. But about two years ago the tug to adopt consumed me. Conversations with Greg didn’t go to well, it really wasn’t his thing as harsh as that sounds. But the thought of losing another baby or seeing me go through what I had to do to bring Palmer into the world wasn’t his thing either.I knew after a talk with a sweet mentor that I had to pray that the lord would change my heart or his. One year I prayed.

At the beginning of last summer, I approached the subject again. We had a long conversation and he agreed to talk and learn more about the process of adoption. On July 2nd, 2018 we sat down with a sweet friend from church at Catholic Charities just to educate us. We learned that it could take two or more years to be placed, we learned the statistics, the cost reaching 20k plus.. and were sent home with a book to read. It was a lot to digest but we agreed together that we would pray about it.

That night, I did just that. As I laid my head on my pillow, I prayed a simple prayer. “Lord if we are supposed to have another child you will make that happen, birth or adoption. And if adoption is your path, you will send that child to us. We will not seek it but you will bring it to us” and I wondered off to la la land…

The very next day, July 3rd, it was like any other day. I was at work and had walked next door to Wendy’s, whom now is an adoption advocate. Scan their cups and a proceed goes to adoption {coincidence}. While standing in line I received a simple text. It came from a friend|client that knew adoption was on my heart from previous nonchalant talk. She worked at a local OBGYN’s office, and she was placed in the right place at the right time to meet a momma down on luck and looking for an option. After telling her about us the mom, asked to speak with us. My friend no longer works at that OBGYN’s office {coincidence}.

I think I was in so much shock, I left without my food. I called Greg right away. I felt like my world was spinning, I knew there was so much unknown and that it may not even turn into to anything. But somehow in a quiet moment a still, a peace encompassed me. And never really left me. I’ll never forget that phone call with her.
We learned so much.

I learned he was a boy.

He was due in 6 weeks.

He was loved, so loved, but needed a home.

We would meet her one week later for lunch and see the first picture of him. A tiny black and white ultrasound, but he was perfect. In that hour and half we learned so much. I gained a friend. A beautiful friend. She chose us without us even knowing what to do. We didn’t have much time. I’m still not sure we ever truly decided what to do, we just handed it over.

We left that day and we prayed. As a husband & wife that we would do nothing to guide the direction of this journey, but that God would make it happen. And that if all that came out of this was for us to show this woman what love and grace was like, that was our purpose.

We didn’t talk to many people. The ones we did thought we were crazy, family didn’t understand. But how could they, they didn’t know this had been something on our hearts. And we also knew that they weren’t supposed to understand, God did, and he would guide and protect us along the way. Maybe when it was all said and done, maybe then they could understand. {and they did}

Over the next six weeks. A lot had to happen. Things that couldn’t have been pushed through had a greater power not had their hand over it all. There were ups and downs, hurdles, and setbacks. I talked to my new friend every day. I went to doctor appointments and ultrasounds with her. It was so surreal, yet scary, and beautiful all at the same time. When nurses would come in and ask her things, she’d turn to me and say.. “Ask her, she’s his mom”. But what she didn’t realize is that we were both his mom. And will always be.

One year ago on August 28th, 2018, I joined her in the L&D room. I slept what little I could on a small tiny couch next to her bed. I woke when she’d cry out in pain and we talked, we told stories and laughed in between the contractions. I realized I was seeing that room and that circumstance through the eyes of my husband. I remember thinking gosh this must have been how he felt when I ached and worried with each grown.

She didn’t Labor long, although I know how she must have felt, it was taking forever in her eyes. To be honest I almost missed it. They asked me to leave the room during the epidural and he emerged literally minutes after administering it. But I made it. And she did such a great job. A job that she was called to do, a job most women cannot imagine or have the strength to do. To carry, grow, love, Labor, deliver, and give away their child for someone else to love.

Talk about faith.

Talk about trust.

I left her with him for a few minutes. And as I walked into the hall to tell Greg and our parents he was here. All 8lbs 9oz of him. How beautiful and perfect he was. I saw Greg and I collapsed in his arms and sobbed. Sobbed for what I just experienced. Sobbed for happiness that we had decided to be obedient together & look what that gave us. Sobbed because I felt exhausted, yet safe in his arms. But most of all I sobbed for her. She just went through all of that and how selfishly I felt to be taking him home. No one prepared me for those emotions, I wish they had.

The next few days in the hospital we stayed, in our own room, with our own visitors, and our new normal. She would visit him one time and that would be the last time we saw her. I’d receive a few texts but eventually they stopped, and

I knew it wasn’t because she didn’t care, but because she had to. And I believe or at-least hope she believes how much he is loved and how well he is cared for. I pray for her daily.

But today. We celebrate this little boy we call Sutton Noah Parsons. Sutton the name one mommy gave him, Noah the name his other mommy gave him, and Parsons the family God choose for him.

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